I still have a love letter from 24 years ago. Gifted to me as I left a relationship to come back and live in my home state.
In it, is one line that has been utterly profound in my life.
Sometimes I invite my clients to consider it for themselves.
Each time I say it, I’m ready to offer a tissue, as often the sweet message seeps in, fills one’s heart, then overflows into tears.
‘You are already all that you need to be’.
My 22 year old self couldn’t even fathom it.
She knew that her boyfriend accepted and loved her, but truly trusting in herself, was going to take a couple more decades.
It’s taken that girl years of passion and pain, curiosity and compassion to unpack her feelings of unworthiness…and still, I do the work daily as the woman I am now.
The work is the dedicated practice of listening to your heart and spirit when it reminds you;
That you are already all that you need to be.
That every moment in time and every lesson has brought us to now.
That we are all doing our very best.
& that you are enough, just as you are.
The other side of the work is to notice the fierce countering thoughts that claim ‘you aren’t good enough’ and to be able to recognise where they come from.
Often it’s tricky to unpack where you first heard them, and then how many versions of them you’ve heard, time and time again throughout your life.
Those unhelpful messages are often so slippery, they easily slide into your mind without your full knowledge.
As a young woman I was told ONCE on a lined scrap of paper, in clear capital letters that I was enough as I was, but I have been told millions of times that I indeed I am not enough, and need to change.
How have you heard you are ‘not enough’ in life?
Sometimes you can be accused of being too much…
You’re too sensitive, too abrasive, too loud, too big, too small, you take up too much space, you’re too needy, you’re too dramatic, or you just want too much.
Otherwise you get told you’re not enough…
Not young enough, attractive enough, thin enough, fit enough, strong enough, wealthy enough, powerful enough, not controlled enough, not quiet enough and simply not compliant enough.
Most of all you are told that you need to change, but the absolute truth is that YOU DO NOT.
That’s why tears flow so freely when you hear ‘You are already all that you need to be’.
We rarely hear those true words, because those words don’t sell, and that is what we are up against…the peddling of wares that claim you need their product or service to become ‘the best version of yourself’.
** Spoiler alert ** You are already the best version of yourself, evolving as you should, when you should, throughout the seasons of your life.
If we all listen, oh so carefully to our truth, deep down inside we can hear that line lovingly whispered to us, over and over again… ‘You are already all that you need to be’.
When we stumble, when we feel lost, when we doubt ourselves, when we feel judged, when we are longing for love, and when we don’t feel worthy.
In each of those times, we are worthy of all the love, respect, acceptance, compassion, patience, and care in the world – JUST AS WE ARE.
When we trust in that, we can then follow our purpose without distraction.
When you trust that you are good enough exactly as you are, how does your life flow?
This is my life’s work – to be curious and compassionate and to invite others to be also.
I am here to listen to people’s stories of when they’ve felt they’re not good enough, and I am here to share parts of my own lived experience, and my own stories of not feeling worthy.
So I hold the memory of my 22 year old self with utter love as she quietly weeps on the plane all the way from Queensland to South Australia.
Where she collects her luggage in Adelaide and safely tucks her love note away – putting the person worthy of receiving that love away for a long while.
She arrives home to shocked looks from family and friends, as her body is the largest they’ve seen it. Little does she know she’s about to embark on yet another tough decade of yo yo dieting, disordered eating, body shaming, and dangerous periods of poor mental health, with glimmers of hope and empowerment.
I love that girl because she grew into this wild woman who trusts in her worth, and the worth of all others.
May you hold your younger self with as much gentleness.
I am here to listen to your stories.